


Every Breath Taken

by orphan_account



Category: Call of Duty
Genre: Angst, Breathplay, Gorod Krovi, M/M, Origins Crew - Freeform, Strangulation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-07-24 03:24:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7491507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Edward tried his damndest not to look into Nikolai's eyes. Those soft blue eyes bearing far too much pain, swirling with an agony the man didn't deserve. Edward knew those eyes could be gentle, rather than icy pools revealing despair.</p><p>That's why he'd asked him for this, right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Every Breath Taken

Edward tried his damndest not to look into Nikolai's eyes. They were so clear now that the pair had left the thick of the smoke hanging around the corrupted city. Those soft blue eyes bearing far too much pain, swirling with an agony the man didn't deserve. His brows above them furrowed into a scowl of mild confusion and muted contempt.

Edward knew those eyes could be gentle, rather than icy pools revealing despair. A warmth directed at their Japanese comrade, a warmth directed at his daughter. Edward knew that it was there and for a moment, Nikolai showed some of that gentleness.

It took him by surprise. It wasn't part of the deal. A kiss pressed to his lips, slow and soft, hands far larger than Edward's own at his cheeks. He closed his eyes, let the Russian kiss him with such passion.

For a moment, he felt complete. Just to have anyone kiss him so tenderly, caress his jaw in their hands. He wanted so desperately to pretend that this was real, that Nikolai's actions could have a shred of genuine affection in them.

The spell was broken, as regret flooded back to Edward. With all he'd done, in this life and countless others, did he truly deserve that? Was that what Nikolai wanted him to feel - guilty that he'd hoped for what he shouldn't have? The bitterness burned more than the raging fires around them, far more than the ash and embers stinging his eyes and burning his sinuses.

Nikolai's hands trailed downwards, careful. Edward couldn't help but flicker his eyes back open, parting their kiss, as fingers brushed his neck. Fingers that quickly squeezed, cutting off his air completely. 

He searched Nikolai's eyes for something, anything that gave insight as to what he was thinking, but saw only a bland cloud. His vision began failing him, becoming dark and spotted with bright lights, and despite the way he asked for this he still struggled for air.

Thirty seconds. The pressure was released, and instinctively Edward gulped in a breath of air. This relief was momentary. Nikolai again began crushing his throat, squeezing his windpipe agonizingly. 

Edward's head swam and he gave a pathetic whimpering noise, but this was what he wanted. He asked for this specifically. Nikolair teased him with temporary pauses, letting go for half-seconds. Yet now he applied far more force, making Edward's lungs burn and brain shriek.

The German held onto Nikolai's hands. Not clawing them away, encouraging him to strangle him harder. Edward couldn't stop himself from drooling, saliva running out of the corner of his mouth. Tears made their way out of his eyes, watering and falling down his face. His eyes rolled back in his head and he saw stars, squirming and writhing beneath the Soviet.

Finally, after what felt like years of oxygen deprivation, the pressure eased. Edward's chest heaved as he tried taking in air, panting. He looked up in time to see Nikolai walking away, leaving him to lie shaking in the ruined, burning building.

Once again, the scent of ash, embers, and rot hit his nose. Edward stared blankly into the burning dragons' fire. This was what he asked for. This was what he wanted.

Right?

**Author's Note:**

> written while exhausted and slightly buzzed, subject to heavy editing eventually


End file.
